Beach Paintball
by FeliPirushea
Summary: The Hetalia characters go on a completely unplanned, unbudgeted, wild road trip!   Hope you guys like it :D


Beach Paintball  
>A Hetalia Fanfiction story (think it's a bit crack-y, but that's OK)<br>By FeliPirushea :)

Hey Guys! Thanks for reading my fic, it's my first! I'll try publish more but with school and all... yeah, you know.  
>You may have noticed I had another version of this before, but I had to delete it, which sucked. I had 2 reviews and everything X'(<br>On the subject of reviews, I would love it if you could review, even if you think it's shit.  
>You guys rule! Thanks for reading!<p>

"LUDDY LUDDY LUDDY!" the crowd of spectators cheered as they watched the German down a barrel of beer.  
>"You can do it Doitsu~! I know you can!" Feliciano cried loudly, as Ludwig finished the barrel and fell to the kitchen lino.<br>"West? Hey We-e-est! Kesese, he knocked himself out!" Gilbert whooped as he knelt next to Ludwig, as he spaced out on the floor. The crowd of nations around them yelled and cheered drunkenly, glad that the normally sensible and stern Ludwig was finally having fun.

"Idiots." Lovino muttered, as he shifted a raging Arthur off the couch and onto the floor with his foot. He flipped open his cherry tomato laptop and logged onto his frequently used Bonus Bonds account.  
>"Veh! You're sitting on Mr Kitty!" he heard his brother Feliciano warn Ivan, who had this thing about sitting on everything (and everyone) 'Jeez' he thought, scrolling down his bonds, 'if I won a grand prize, I'd be outta here like THA-' he stopped.<br>He had a message sitting in his prize box.  
>Titled "Bonus Bonds – congratulations, you've won!"<br>He opened the message, fingers quivering. "Congratulations Mr Vargas. You are the lucky winner of ten thousand US dollars…"  
>Lovino didn't need to read any more. He leapt up and screamed "GUESS WHAT BITCHES! I WON! I WON TEN THOUSAND FREAKING DOLLARS! IN YOUR FACES!" Galloping wildly over to the fridge he yanked out a bottle of vodka and a carton of old milk. Nobody else took much notice, except for Arthur who started yelling drunken witchcraft curses.<p>

Alfred checked the time on his watch, and looked at his wrist, completely stunned, when he saw it wasn't there. "Hey… you. Feli or something. You seen my watch thing?" he asked Feliciano, who was the only one who wasn't sleeping somewhere on the floor.  
>"Sorry, Alfreda, I hasn't seen your watch. Oh, but look at Mr Kitty!" Feliciano called, as he held up his kitten which was dressed in his old Chibitalia dress.<br>"Duuude. Your cat looks f-freaking AWESOME." Alfred replied, his words slurred. Feliciano, with his cat now dressed up, crawled over to Lovino's laptop, which he saw logged on to something called "Bonus Bonds". On the screen said "Congratulations, Mr Vargas. You are the lucky winner of ten thousand US dollars…" 'Lucky Mr Vargas' he thought, until he realized.  
>"HEY! MY LAST NAME'S VARGAS! Mr Alfreda! I won ten thousand dollars~! Look, it says so right here!" Feliciano cried as Alfred staggered over, and flopped on the couch next to Feliciano.<br>"Dude, whatcha gonna buy?" he asked.  
>"Hmm… I know! Let's all go on holiday! I can hire some campervans and some pasta and some kittens…" Feliciano dreamed, clicking the 'Use money' button.<br>"Hey dude, didn't Lovino win something too?" Alfred asked, recalling a few hours ago, when the presently zonked Lovino downed a bowl of milk and vodka after screaming something about it being in "our freaking faces".  
>"Yeah, he sure seemed excited… Pasta Masta 2019! Let's buy that too…" Feliciano said, putting 6 campervans and a pasta machine into his Bonus Bonds shopping cart.<p>

Gilbert finally awoke, his head pounding with a hangover. He sat upright, only to realize that he was on a couch with a cat in a green dress, and was wearing a pair of flared jeans saying 'That 70's show'.  
>"Kesese… I love waking up and not remembering a thing." he said as he rolled over the sofa. "Mmph… wha? Who's that?" an alarmingly Austrian voice mumbled from under a pillow.<br>'Shit! That's Roderich!' Gilbert thought, as he literally sprang off the couch and landed with a thump on the carpet. Roderich lifted his head and stared at Gilbert blankly. He had no idea why Gilbert was staring at him in horror, or why his head hurt, but he figured they probably had something to do with each other. Gilbert, who was completely shocked, got up silently and went to the kitchen to get a panadol, tripping over multiple people on his way. When he got there he found Arthur sitting in a sink with a jar of gherkins and some horribly mouldy blue cheese, smooshing it all together like a 3 year old with clay.  
>"Whatcha wa-ant, you… you….. FROG. Hey! Git! You're freaking stamping on Minties Nut Burgers!" he yelled, tipping the contents of the jar into his mouth like it was water.<br>"Oh go away. I got a headache." Gilbert replied angrily, as he found the panadol in Ludwig's first aid kit. He looked blankly out the window as he fumbled back to the couch. Six campervans were parked outside the house, and a box which Feliciano was holding as he ran madly back inside the front door, the biggest smile Gilbert had ever seen stretched on his face.  
>"HEY! HEY GUYS! MY PASTA MASTA IS HERE!" he heard Feliciano scream.<br>"You never ordered a pasta whatsit, you don't know how, so stop yelling in my freaking ear." his brother Lovino yelled back angrily.  
>"Yeah, I did, see here! I got it off a website! It said Mr Vargas won ten thousand dollars~! Lucky, right?"<br>"… how much did you spend?" Gilbert heard Lovino reply anxiously.  
>"Oh I spent ALL of it! On some campervans so we can all go on holiday and some pasta and some adorable friends for Mr Kitty-"<br>"You IDIOT! WHO'S LAPTOP DID YOU SPEND THIS OFF?" Lovino exploded.  
>"Duuude take a chill pill, we've all got headaches and shizz. He spent it off yours, but he was on his own account and everything, I was there. It said 'Mr Vargas' at the top of the letter thing, I remember." Alfred butted in.<br>"He doesn't HAVE a Bonus Bonds account." Lovino growled.  
>Feliciano paused. Something was wrong, terribly wrong, and he figured he was probably the cause.<br>"DOITSUUU! HELP! I'M SCARED MY BROTHER IS GETTING ALL ANGRY! I THINK I DID SOMETHING WRONG! DOITSUUUU~!" Feliciano ran dementedly up the stairs, screaming his lungs dry.  
>"Oh…" Alfred looked at Lovino pityingly. "Dude, you're screwed."<br>Lovino walked as calmly up the stairs as he could and looked out the window at the campervans parked in Ludwig's drive, using everything he had to stop himself from strangling his idiot brother.  
>"Crap."<p>

_Lovino Vargas:_Feliciano Vargas  if you ever touch my laptop again, you are DEAD. And I'm not coming on the goddamned holiday. No matter WHAT.  
>21 <em>comments<em>

_Feliciano Vargas:_ UUWAAAAHHH! I'M SORRY I SPENT ALL YOUR MONEY BROTHER! I DIDN'T MEEEANNN TO! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COME ON THE HOLIDAY AND HAVE A NICE TIME!  
><em>Lovino Vargas:<em> You are an idiot. A freaking idiot. I hate you.  
><em>Feliciano Vargas:<em> …please don't hate me, brother. i am sorry :'( please come with meee. we're all going to have such a fun time. mr spain will be there! you like mr spain! PLEASE!  
><em>Alfred HeroSaurus Jones: <em>holiday? OMG THAT SOUNDS AWESOOOOME. DUDE CAN I COME?  
><em>Feliciano Vargas: <em>yes! of course! you're all invited!  
><em>Arthur Kirkland: <em>Why, I haven't been on a holiday in such a long time. This sounds like fun.  
><em>Alfred HeroSaurus Jones:<em> duuude, we won't have enough room for your imaginary friends, they'll have to stay behind. (BWAHAHA DUUDE YOU GOT PWNED!)  
><em>Arthur Kirkland: <em>Shut up, you git! They're not "imaginary." And you spelt 'owned' wrong, so there!  
><em>Gilbert Beilschmidt:<em> IT'S PARTY TIME BITCHEZ!  
><em>Alfred HeroSaurus Jones: <em>WHOOO0O00OO! dude, we need to find somewhere we can hire a beer fountain!  
><em>Gilbert Beilschmidt: <em>hire? why not just steal? it's a lot easier, and costs less, and then we get to keep it! 12 likes   
><em>Alfred HeroSaurus Jones: <em>if we're gonna steal, why don't we take some other stuff too? there's a place where we can get some paintball guns really easy!  
><span>17 likes <span>  
><em>Arthur Kirkland:<em> Alfred, are you honestly planning on making an amateur paintball maze?  
><em>Alfred HeroSaurus Jones: <em>HELL YES.  
><em>Gilbert Beilschmidt: <em>you up for it artie? you are a former delinquent/pirate, so you probably have all the skills we need to pull this off!  
><em>Arthur Kirkland: <em>…looks like I have no choice.  
><em>Gilbert Beilschmidt: <em>that's the spirit, man!  
><em>Alfred HeroSaurus Jones: <em>whooo! this is gonna be AWESOME  
><em>Lovino Vargas: <em>You're all inconsiderate bastards. You sit there, planning how you're gonna spend MY money, and you don't even think to include me! I hate you all, you can all SMB.  
><em>Alfred HeroSaurus Jones: <em>SYB? EEEEEW NOOOOO WAY JOOOSEEEE! GET YOUR MATE ANTONIO TO DO YOUR DIRTY WORK FOR YOU, NOT ME!  
><em>Lovino Vargas: <em>I hate you all. Even you, Feliciano. In fact, I hate you the most. This is all your fault and you're an idiot. Never touch my laptop ever again.

"OI GIL! GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE! NARUTO'S ON!" Alfred yelled, eyes glued to the TV screen.  
>"Naruto? Is it that ninja show Kiku showed you?" Gilbert asked sleepily.<br>"Yes, and it freaking rules. OMG NARUTO'S GOING NINETAILED FOX ON OROCHIMARU'S ASS!" Alfred cried, shoulders hunched, watching the screen anxiously.  
>"You guys are so loud, can't you both shut up for once?" Antonio asked them both, as he came out of the kitchen, munching on churros. "And what are you watching?" he asked Alfred.<br>"Naruto. You wait, Orochimaru might vomit up a snake soon." Alfred told him.  
>"That just put me RIGHT off breakfast." Antonio quickly turned around and dumped his plate in the kitchen sink.<br>"Me too." Gilbert followed him, hand over his mouth.  
>"Hmph. Wusses can't take a little snake puke. How sad." Alfred muttered, as Feliciano skipped in front of the TV, Mr Kitty cuddled in his arms.<br>"Hey Alfreda! We're going holiday soon! You want to pack some stuff?" Feliciano asked Alfred, still in front of the TV Alfred was trying to watch.  
>"Dude, I will I will, just watching Naruto right now, can you MOVE?" Alfred asked impatiently. He was gonna miss the part with Sasuke and Orochimaru if he wasn't careful.<br>"Oh, Alfreda! I am sorry! You continue with your… cartoons" Feliciano replied, skipping into Doitsu's room to show him Mr Kitty.  
>"DUDE! IT'S NOT A CARTOON IT'S AN ANIME! JUST COS IT'S ON CARTOON NETWORK DOESN'T MAKE IT A CARTOON! SHEEEEESH!" Alfred yelled, storming off to find something else to do.<p>

"Hey DOITSUU~! You're coming on holiday with me! Come on, even I woke earlier than you today! We gotta get packing and—DOITSU YOUR HEAD! WHAT HAPPENED? WHO DID THIS TO YOU~?" Feliciano cried, gaping at the blue bruise on Ludwig's forehead.  
>"Italy…?" Ludwig mumbled, still half asleep. "What are you doing?"<br>"Your HEAD!" Feliciano gasped.  
>"You're doing my head? Oh… the bruise. It is OK Italy, I fell over… Mein Gott, it hurts! That was the dumbest thing I have ever done, ever.<br>"You can still come on the holiday? Can you can you can you? Doitsu, I need you! Please!"  
>"Holiday? Argh, my HEAD. Fine, whatever, just stop PESTERING me!"<br>"Veh! Doitsuu you are going to love it! We're leaving today so you might want to get packed!" Feliciano told him, and pleased with his efforts, left Doitsu to pack, dragging Mr Kitty with him.  
>"Mein GOTT he is persistent." Ludwig muttered, pulling open a chest of drawers. "Hmm… packing. Clothes, shoes, some food…" he folded them and put them in a much used laundry bag. "Ah! Herr Stick! There you are!" Ludwig pulled one of his only friends, a twig he carried around with him, out of its draw, and put it carefully into the bag.<p>

Matthew stood outside, along with a crowd of other nations, in Ludwig's driveway, watching Feliciano try and reverse a campervan out onto the road. 'It's been 15 minutes, and he hasn't even moved yet. It's incredible.' Matthew thought to himself.  
>"BRO! You coming with us too?" Alfred called, as he jostled his way through a crowd of spectators to reach his brother.<br>"Y-yeah. I am… Are you?" Matthew asked.  
>"Duuude, I just said 'are you coming with us' meaning I'm part of the 'us'. Jeez, you suck at speaking to others." Alfred told him.<br>"Shut up! I-I don't really get to speak to others, they never r-recognise me. Sometimes even YOU d-don't recognise me, s-so you… shut up!" Matthew retorted angrily.  
>"Ahh, you're funny when you spazz. You sound like a drunk England, raging for all he's worth." Alfred told him, a massive smile on his face, as he grabbed Matthew in a bear hug.<br>"UUWAAAAH! DOITSUU! IT'S GOING TOO FAST! SAVE ME DOITSUUU!" Feliciano screamed in fear, as the campervan started to slowly roll out of the drive and onto the quiet street.  
>"Feliciano, West's busy doing westy things. Just slam your foot on the brake." Gilbert yelled, trying to be the awesome guy who saved the day.<br>"I CAN'T I CAN'T! TOO FAST _TOO FAST_ _**TOO FAST!**_" Feliciano panicked. The campervan slithered over the drive onto the bumpy road, and Feliciano, who hadn't been expecting it, started screaming and sobbing in utter horror. He tried looking out the window, to see if anybody could help him, but instead he saw a car speeding towards him.  
>It was going to crash into him.<br>Feliciano panicked, sure he was going to die. With nothing else he thought he could do, he ran around to the door, and even though the van was still driving, wrenched it open and leapt out onto the road. He landed on the hard concrete and fell to his hands and knees, breathing raggedly, tears pouring down his unusually pale cheeks. His hands were grazed, and he started crying again, out of sheer shock, horror and relief.  
>But it was over.<br>He was alive!

Nobody else really cared. The car had seen the van, and had braked, with time to spare. As long as another car didn't come past the campervan would stop, and someone more competent would drive it. And Feliciano looked fine, all he needed was a band-aid and a hug, then he'd return to his usual springy self. The crowd of nations piled into the campervans, with Ludwig trying to stop Feliciano from having a mental breakdown, and one by one, drove off, all following the first van.

"Hey, you two, get up here and watch this!" Antonio called to Gilbert and Francis, who were trying to see what people would do if they gave them the finger from the safety of the campervan window.  
>"Yeah, what? Kesese, look at that toddler! He's copying us!" Gilbert told Antonio, pointing at the child outside who was unknowingly offending passers-by.<br>"You look into the back window of the campervan in front of us. You see Ludwig, Feli and Kiku, si? Now watch THIS!" Antonio slammed his fist on the horn, the resulting eruption startling Ludwig, insulting Kiku, and sending Feliciano, who had finally calmed down, into another screaming fit.  
>"OHONHONHONHON! ANTONIO THAT WAS SO FANTASTIQUE!" Francis laughed in his incredible French accent.<br>"Kesesese! Mein Gott, West's face! If looks could kill, we would've died long ago!" Gilbert cracked up. Even Gilbird cheeped in appreciation.  
>"Western idiots. I am so sick of them, they aren't even being funny. It is time I gave them a rittre piece of my mind." Kiku grumbled, opening up the back window.<br>"Hey. Hey you guys. Open up your window." he called to Antonio.  
>"Yeah? What do you want? Just for the record, that wasn't my idea. It was the churro bastard's!" Gilbert yelled at Kiku, loud enough for Antonio to hear.<br>"Werr, I have something to terr you. Arr of you. Shut up!" Kiku stuck his tongue out and made a farting noise at them, before slamming the window in disgust.  
>"Did you see that? That's le second time that he's ever gotten angry, ever!" Francis whooped victoriously.<br>"CELEBRATION TIME BITCHES!" Gilbert cried, throwing Gilbird up into the air and watching him flap madly.

Matthew sat in the front seat, trying to drive the massive campervan. It swerved crazily across the street, threatening to topple over with every turn. The other two didn't take any notice of anything, as they sat in the back and argued about their scrabble game.  
>"DUUUDE YOUR SPELLING SUCKS, THAT'S NOT HOW YOU SPELL AIRPLANE!"Alfred tried correcting Arthur, desperate on winning<br>"It is, see! A-E-R-O-P-LA-N-E. What's wrong with it?" Arthur questioned, not seeing what Alfred was getting all hyped up over.  
>"No way Jose! It's always been A-I-R-P-L-A-N-E, cos it's a P-L-A-N-E that flies in the A-I-R! It doesn't fly in the aero, so that's why it's an airplane!"<br>"It doesn't matter where it flies. It's always been spelt aeroplane. ALWAYS, AND I'M COUNTING IT, YOU GIT!"  
>"Can't you all just SHUT UP?" Matthew yelled. "If you wanna try driving this thing, go ahead! I dare you!"<br>"Who the hell are you? You're driving our van!" Arthur protested.  
>"I'm your freaking younger brother, and if you both don't shut up, I'll make you drive this… this…. THING!" Matthew yelled, ditching his usual calm, lenient attitude.<br>"Duuude, you forgot who your younger brother was? Sad much…" Alfred told Arthur, even though he frequently forgot Matthew too.  
>"OK that's IT. Arthur, you're driving."<br>"Hmm?" Arthur called, searching through the fridge.  
>"ARTHUR GET YOUR BUTT UP HERE RIGHT NOW!"<br>"Too late 'brother', already under the influence!" Arthur called happily, cracking open a can of beer.  
>"Well you'll just have to drive drunk, won't you?" Matthew replied in a similar tone.<br>"You git." he mumbled, stomping reluctantly up to the drivers seat.  
>"Touche. Now you're gonna get your ass up here before it gets thrown out the van."<br>"Don't you frogmouth me!" Arthur yelled, as he took control of the wheel. "Hmm… this isn't so hard. I don't see what – JESUS CHRIST!" he yelled, as he almost hit a tree.  
>"Have fun!"<br>"You're not actually going to leave me to drive this… you bastard! Get your arse back here NOW!"

"I love hanging out with all the older countries, it makes me feel BIG!" Peter exclaimed, as he watched all the older countries. It had been 7 hours since they had all left Ludwig's house, and now the group were parked by a beach, having another party.  
>"Well, they are funny to watch!" Michelle considered.<br>"Especially when they're drunk! They're hilarious when they're drunk! Honestly, once I saw Arthur drunk and he was raging off at Francis and _then…_" Raivis retold the story to Michelle and Peter, leaving Lili standing by herself. She had never really hung out with the others that much. She was only with them now because her older brother was out at the party.  
>'I do hope he has fun.' she thought contently to herself. 'I mean, as long as Big Brother is happy, so am I!'<br>"Lili!" she heard Peter call her name. "You wanna join in their party? We are!"  
>'Join in a party with Big Brother?' she thought 'Well that would be fun! I like parties! And Big Brother would be happy to see me there. There might even be party games!'<br>"Hey Lili, you should come! It'll be great, you watch. We'll keep you safe, promise." Michelle said.  
>"Ok then! I would love to!" she replied, skipping along to join the others.<p>

"Oi Roddzy, I'm playing truth or dare with some mates. You ready?" Gilbert popped up behind Roderich, making him spill his fizzy water. "Kesese, fizzy water? Come with me, we'll solve THAT problem quickly!"  
>"There never was a problem with my fizzy water, thank you. And isn't <em>Truth or Dare <em>a bit immature?"  
>"Not drunken truth with awesome dares. Are you gonna play or what?"<br>"It doesn't look like I have much choice." Roderich sighed.  
>"THAT'S THE AUSTRIAN SPIRIT!" Gilbert shouted, waving a bottle of something sparkly in the air.<br>"Gilbert, what would you know about Austrian spirit? You can barely tell the difference between Mozart and Beethoven, and that's when you're not drunk." Roderich muttered, as Gilbert dragged him off to Alfred's caravan.

"Ok, T-Truth or Dare Feliciana!" asked Kiku, who was having the best time of his life.  
>"…Doitsuuuuuuuuuuuu. Should I pick truth or Dare?" Feliciano asked Ludwig, who was once again, on the floor.<br>"Dude he's out cold, I say…. do…. truth. I dare you to… tell me… to tell you to do a flip." Alfred said, taking over from Kiku.  
>"Arfred, that wasn't a truth or dare that was a… CHUG! HE HASN'T DRUNKA THING ARR NIGHT. SOMEONE GET THE ITARIAN VODKAAAAA." Kiku yelled, amazed at his sudden drunken brainwave.<br>"You're all homo's. All of you. Why wasn't I given awesome hair like that… lizard. That freaking lizard. My life's a mess. A freaking milkshake…. damn I'm thirsty. BRB Githoles, getting a drink!" Arthur staggered to his feet and shuffled over to the near empty fridge.  
>"Duuuude, the Italian stuff. Be an angel and get it, would you?" Alfred asked.<br>"Don't you talk to me about angels, frog. Here's your goddamned beer." Arthur threw him a can, staggering wildly when he realized he'd thrown his balance off-centre in the process.  
>"Duuuuuuuuude, drink this." Alfred picked the can up with his foot, and tried to pass it to Feliciano.<br>Feliciano prised it out of Alfred's foot, opened the can, and sniffed it gingerly.  
>"Doistu drinks this stuff sometimes, it makes him go all giggly~!" Feliciano remembered, recognising the smell. He put the can to his lips, and drank its entire contents without stopping.<br>"DUUUDE HOW'D YOU DRINK IT ALL AT THE SAME TIME LIKE THAT? TEACH ME!" Alfred begged.  
>"It's something Grandpa Rome used to do, and when I lived with him, he taught me. I was sick heeeaaappps. Like heeeeeaaaaappppps. Heeeeeeaaaaaapppppps and heeeeeeaaaaaapppppps and heeeeeeaaa- OH NO I NEEDA GET OUTTA HERE!" Feliciano screamed, running out the door and onto the beach.<br>"Duuude… hi-five." Alfred mumbled incoherently, holding his foot out to Arthur.  
>"I'll tell you where you can shove your hi-five, you…"<br>"Fine, fine, don't get your halo in a twist. Night then." Alfred sprawled out on the floor and fell asleep.

Roderich looked at his watch for what seemed like the millionth time that morning. It wasn't even noon.  
>The others who had managed to get up after the party were all sitting at a broken foldy table outside the Bad Trio's van.<br>"Kesese! I have an idea. Why don't we do something tomorrow?" Gilbert asked the ones who weren't in bed.  
>"Hell yes. As much as I love the parties and shiz, it's getting boring. So what would we do?" Alfred pondered.<br>"Something like BEACH PAINTBALL, BITCHEZ!" Gilbert jumped up, waving a piece of paper dramatically in the air.  
>"…No. This is ridiculous. I was up for a bit of fun, but you can count me out here." Arthur replied simply.<br>"I second that. If there's a plan on that paper of yours, I'm leaving." Roderich added, head bent over a piece of music.  
>"Ohonhon, you're both wimps. But this is going to be <em>le crème de la crème<em> of all heists, isn't it?" Francis told them.  
>"Oh go away frog. The last thing I need is you throwing in your two cents." Arthur got up and stomped back to his own van.<br>"So be it then, Mr Un-Fashionableh. We don't need _YOUR_ help!" Francis called back after him, smirking.  
>"Ve-ry nice!" Antonio, who'd just gotten up, hi-fived Francis.<br>"Are you all actually serious? You're going to steal some paintball guns, and you're going to try to make a maze?" Roderich stared at the group in disbelief.  
>"Hell yes! We're the BAD TRIO! Well, with Alfred, I suppose it's the BAD QUADRANT… Kesesese, that has a nice ring to it!" Gilbert pondered, his bird twittering on his shoulder.<br>"Arthur was right, this is ludicrous…" Roderich got up, and followed him back to a campervan.  
>"Well that's THAT solved!" Antonio smiled.<br>"Now that those wimps are out the way, I would like to lay out _the plan…"_Gilbert unfolded the paper and slammed it wildly on the table.

"Dear God, what do you look like, Lili! These friends of yours are the worst thing to ever happen to you! I thought I could trust you, leave you alone while I had some fun…" Vash facepalmed, completely shocked.  
>"What's wrong with what I look like? It's a truckload better than my dinky dresses." Lili thought she looked incredible. Chelles had said the punk look really suited her, and Raivis said her goth makeup made her look hawt. Vash was just being a twat.<br>"Oh go away brother. I'm sick of you swamping me all the time. I'm not a little girl anymore, and I don't wanna be one." Lili complained boldly, instead of being her usual meek self.  
>"How could you actually get drunk? I hear you tried to set fire to Arthur's campervan! Lili, this isn't acceptable, and these friends of yours are a bad influe-"<br>"Oh shut up. I don't need the 'bad influence' lecture. Honestly, Brother, you're so old fashioned. I'm going to go see Chelles, Ravvo, and Pete, and I don't CARE what you think. You aren't the boss of me anymore Brother. Last night was the best night of my life, and I realized how little I've enjoyed myself. I've never had many friends, so to finally get some feels great! My life is getting shorter and shorter, so from now on, I'm gonna do what I want! CONSEQUENCES BE DAMNED!" Lili ran out the caravan, skidding in her new Converse shoes.  
>"Lilza! Glad you could make it, your shoes look stylin'." Raivis had been waiting outside with the others.<br>"Hey I heard that some of the older countries were going out tonight, and it sounded like it was going to be _wild_. You guys up for it?" Michelle told the others, eyes glinting.  
>"Hell yeah!" Peter cried, rocket-punching the air. "Lilz, what about you?"<br>"Course I will."

Vash had been watching, waiting out the window, for Lili to turn away from such a horribly dangerous offer. But she didn't.  
>"Very well Lili, maybe I don't care either." Vash muttered to himself, slumping down into a plastic chair, sighing.<p>

Alfred skidded the campervan outside the unguarded warehouse, and checked up and down the dark, deserted street, making sure they were the only ones there. With the coast clear, he signalled to the rest of the quadrant, who scrabbled out from under the sofas.  
>"This is perfect. Alfred you are le genius!" Francis told him. "How did you find out about this place, then?"<br>"Let's say I've been here before. Now the paintball guns, ammo and armour are all located around the back. The castles aren't here, but they're not far away. We could drive there in about 15 minutes." Alfred informed them.  
>"Si! Now, we'll all need a kit, so that's four, and Elizabeta seemed keen too. When I put the idea to Feliciano, he said he liked painting kittens, so I'm assuming he's in too. Ludwig will enjoy it, so will Kiku, Vash, and Ivan. Altogether that's… 10 or more kits. Is that good?" Antonio asked, counting it out on his fingers.<br>"There's, like, 70 kits dude. We can afford to get a few extras."  
>"Kesese, what are we waiting for? It's heist time, bitchez!" Gilbert yelled, pulling four revolvers, a pile of hoodies, gloves and masks, and a couple of sacks out and chucking them to the others.<br>"I'll bet Mr Crappy Cooking and Piano-Man are stuck inside their campervans. Ohonhon, they'll be wishing they had more guts!" Francis chuckled, slinging some of the sacks over his shoulder.  
>The group checked their guns, their sacks, and slipped on the disguises, before leaving the safety of the van, and disappearing into the night.<p>

"Hey FROG. You know what?" Arthur looked drunkenly at Roderich, who was trying in vain to write music.  
>Roderich sighed. "What is it now? It had better be important."<br>"We should have gone with them other frogs. We need more guts and crap."  
>Roderich stared at his piano, before sighing and returning to the paper.<br>"I guess you're right." he muttered.

"DUDE THAT WAS AWESOME!" Alfred leapt out of the warehouse window and crashed on the dirt below, closely followed by Antonio and Francis. Gilbert, who was still inside, made sure they were all on the ground, and then threw the sacks, now filled with paintball equipment, out of the window for the others to catch. He then jumped out the window and landed with a loud thud, next to the rest of the quadrant.  
>"I'm bringing the awesome back, bitches!" he yelled, greatly satisfied with the success of the robbery.<br>"What's with this sudden 'bitches' thing you've started? I'm pretty sure the correct term is 'bastards', no?" Antonio whispered.  
>"Just for the record, we aren't finished yet. Ohonhon, we still have our escape!" Francis reminded them.<br>"WHOLLY HELL WE DO!" Alfred fleed madly for the safety of the campervan. And stopped.  
>"…Guys. I heard something…" he whispered, listening to the distant, muffled laughter.<br>Sure enough, the others slowly picked up on it too. "It sounds like… _giggling?_" Alfred was starting to freak out. This was the way all those dark, zombie child movies he'd watched with Kiku started.  
>All the rest were now listening too, anxious.<br>"Ok… I hear it." Antonio said. "It's definitely giggling, no?"  
>"Dude, stop freaking me out. This is bloody scary." Alfred whimpered, eyes wide for zombies.<br>"Let's just go back to the van. We can't be harmed if we lock the door, oui?" Francis suggested.  
>"I ain't scared of some little midgets, we'll just shoot the sky a bit and scare them off. Easy as! Mein Gott, it's getting cold though." Gilbert started towards the campervan.<br>"DUDE, DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!" Alfred rushed after him and grabbed at his arm, hugging it shamelessly out of fear. Gilbert tried to shake him off, but Alfred stayed, clinging like a limpet, and in the end, Gilbert just gave up and let Alfred hang off of him.  
>The others followed, staying together in a straight line with the self-proclaimed hero whimpering like a three year old.<br>"See?" Gilbert said, as they reached the campervan. "It was all just crap, little midgets trying to get a laugh out of Alfred's misery." he added, unlocking the campervan and opening the door.  
>"HAHAHAHAHA! DID YOU SEE ALFRED? THAT WAS FREAKIN-" the laughter stopped, as they heard the quadrant step inside.<br>"JESUS CHRIST THERE'S A ZOMBIE IN HERE! GET ME THE FREAKING HELL OUT!" Alfred screamed, latching away from Gilbert and running madly for his life back to the warehouse.  
>"Wholly shit!" Gilbert frantically loaded his gun, and was about to shoot blindly into the campervan, until he heard the zombies screaming.<br>Lili was petrified, mascara running blackly down her cheeks, staring at the gun poised in Gilbert's hand. Michelle was screaming with all her might. Raivis looked like he was about to wet his skinny jeans. And Peter was about to faint, until he realized it was just Gilbert being an asshole.  
>"How the… its le teeny weeny nations!" Francis exclaimed.<p>

"It's dark." Vash muttered. He was sitting alone inside his van, nibbling on the skin around his thumb.  
>Lili still wasn't back. He was getting incredibly agitated, pacing up and down, over and over.<br>She'd been the only thought on his mind since she'd left. She was a bit of a scaredy cat at the best of times, and he didn't think she'd be out this late. He had no idea where she was, what she was doing.  
>'If she's alive or not?' a ghastly voice murmured inside his head.<br>He couldn't take this. He had no idea where she was, but he had to find her. He was her brother. Slipping on a jacket, he disappeared out the campervan, and slid into the night.

"Oh come on! We wanna be involved in your thing too!" Peter whined. "We could crawl through little gaps and…. crawl through _more_ little gaps…. we could so do heaps!"  
>Alfred didn't say anything. He was wrapped in a blanket, laying on the back seat, fast asleep.<br>"No, this is big nation stuff. I'm a _big_ nation," Antonio said, pointing to himself. "And you are a _micro-_nation." he continued, tapping Peter lightly on the nose.  
>"The term micronation is really size-ist to us." Michelle stepped in. "You guys aren't that big yourselves. I mean, did any of you see Alfred back there? The Hero was screaming in horror about a bunch of imaginary zombies."<br>"Oh Madamoiselle Michella, you are so right! Since you left home, you have grown up so much, not just in maturity, but in physicality too. I would love to see you come home again!" Francis winked.  
>"What's all this home stuff?" Gilbert, who was listening in the conversation from the drivers seat, asked.<br>"Ohonhon, I raised Michella as a baby, did you not know that?" Francis said, smirking.  
>"…yeah. It sucks." Michelle slumped onto the couch. "It's weird, but it's true. I'm a Bonnefoy."<br>"And… he just tried to hit on you then, no?" Antonio asked, confused and disgusted.  
>"Oui, I did."<br>"… Eew. "

"Lili! Okay that is it, you are coming with me now!" Vash grabbed ahold of Lili by the wrist protectively. Lili didn't protest. She'd had more than enough fun for one night.  
>"What on Earth was she doing with you? What were you doing? You better not have harmed her or I swear…" Vash erupted at the older nations who were dragging sacks out of the doorway of their van.<br>"Ok, I can handle this." Gilbert muttered to the others, trying to avoid the glare of Vash that was boring its way through his back.  
>"Vash, buddy! It's OK, we didn't forget you!" Gilbert turned to Vash, a forced smile stretched across his face.<br>"Didn't forget me in what? And you better give me a good answer why Lili was with you!"  
>"Dude, just shut up and take your bloody kit." a humiliated Alfred shoved a kit in his face and stormed off.<br>"This is your reason?" Vash wrenched open the kit and peered inside. "This is your rea… oh… it's a…" a smile started up on Vash's face, as he saw his new paintball gun nestled inside his armoured jacket, all bundled in his very own army-style paintball helmet.  
>If there was one thing Vash was more protective of than Lili, it would've been his gun collection. He loved the feeling of the trigger, seeing the silver bullet fly out of the barrel, touching the sleek, cold metal.<br>Nothing was better.  
>Gilbert watched Vash, as he turned around and walked slowly, almost brainlessly, to the bush behind the campervans.<br>He didn't think Vash could kill anything with that, but that wouldn't have stopped him trying.

"Jeez, what does a girl have to do to get a pack of chips around here?" Elizabeta opened up the empty cupboard and peered inside.  
>"Hey Lizzie, you got any food?" Gilbert asked, stepping into the van.<br>"Who invited you? And no, I don't."  
>"Not even a smidge for the awesome me?"<br>"I don't even have anything for myself, let alone you. So bug off." Elizabeta waved her frying pan round, and mimed hitting him around the head.  
>"Look, I'm gonna go see if anybody else has anything. If they don't then… they'll have something for me. After all, I am awesome." Gilbert smirked, jumping out the van door and landing with a thud on the sand.<br>"Narcissistic much." Elizabeta muttered, following him in the search for food.

"Nobody bought anything? You're kidding." Roderich asked Gilbert in disbelief.  
>"Well some people bought a bit, but not much... So that means it's TOWN CRASHING TIME, BITCHES!"<br>"Oh God…" Roderich facepalmed miserably at Gilbert's sudden burst of impulsivity.  
>"Look, we'll probably get arrested if we try anything silly, so lets try to keep down the craziness. I don't want a bunch of angry police on our tail, and I doubt any of you will either." Arthur told them, trying to be responsible.<br>"Pshhh, nobody cares about the police. I just say we get some cash and go. Where's the nearest town?" Alfred completely ignored Arthur's warning.  
>"Uhhh… I don't know. I think a few of us should just follow L-luddy and see what happens." Matthew tried to be heard for once, but of course no one even recognised him.<br>"I know! Why don't we just ask Ludwig, si? He must know the way!" Antonio suggested.  
>"Hey that's a great idea! West knows everything." Gilbert announced.<br>"Why not? I don't think anybody else can come up with something better." Arthur said.  
>"Dude, this is gonna be awesome!" Alfred started spazzing in excitement.<br>Matthew stormed off, giving all the others the finger to their faces. Nobody noticed.

"Supermarkets SUCK." Alfred moaned, almost colliding into an old lady with his rickety supermarket trolley.  
>"Oh stop whinging, it has to be done. And be more careful." Arthur told him, trying to read Alfred's scribbly writing.<br>"But this sucks! It's so dumb! Why didn't we just have it delivered?" Alfred asked.  
>"Because we don't. That's why."<br>"Aw you suck! You can do all this crappy shopping stuff, I'm going." Alfred shoved his trolley into Arthur, and stormed off, no idea where he was going. As a result, he ran straight into a shelf stacked precariously full of Coca Cola cans, and knocked the entire thing over.

"Heya guys! I found some more pasta! This one looks like a pretty swirl!" Feliciano tried to grab a bag, but dropped all his other types of pasta in the process.  
>"Italy, we do not need so much pasta." Ludwig picked up most of the bags and shoved them back into the shelf, ripping some as he did so.<br>"Aw Doitsu…."  
>"ENOUGH. Now, go find me the potatoes und sausages." Ludwig commanded, watching Feliciano skip over to the toys section.<br>"Excuse me sir, may I help you?" a friendly supermarket girl asked Ludwig.  
>"Arrr… jah. Where may I find the wurst?"<br>"The… vawst, did you say? Is that a type of food, sir?" she asked, feeling abnormally scared.  
>"JAH. And where may I find it?"<br>"Uhh… um… over in the… fruit section?"  
>"Danke. Danke very much." Ludwig turned around and marched down the aisle.<p>

"Hey Roddzy! What sort of stuff do Austrians eat?" Gilbert yelled, picking up a can of catfood.  
>"Gilbert, that's incredibly racist. We don't eat catfood." Roderich rolled his eyes. "We don't eat any different from you. "<br>"You can't eat the same as me! I know you can't digest awesomeness. %99 awesomeness plus %1 even more awesomeness equals best Prussian burger ever." Gilbert smirked.  
>"…Why do I even bother?"<br>"Coz I'm awesome. That's why you bother." Gilbert left Roderich and ran down the aisle to find the icecream.  
>"They don't sell narcissism here Gil. It's a supermarket." Roderich sniffed, wheeling his pull-along basket pompously down the aisle.<p> 


End file.
